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IS THERE REALLY SUCH A THING AS BALANCE?
People, myself included, talk a lot about a work-life balance. Those of us who work too much are thought to have no life, those of us who don’t work enough are considered lazy.
True growth doesn’t come from balance; you must push your limits for that to happen. If you are leading a perfectly balanced life you most likely will not be doing anything extraordinary!! But push too far, you can risk failing at everything.
The hard fact is there really isn’t a balance, it’s more like a juggling act or tightrope walk. I think most can relate to times when we were killing it on the work front, our home life suffered and visa-versa. I used to make this comment often to my co-workers, and asked why? Why can’t I have both? Heck there were times I felt like I was failing in both arenas. Can you relate to those times?
Since we are in a fitness group I thought I would use this personal example.
A few years ago I was in a job I had worked at for 30 years. It was routine, and it was nearing the end so the push to achieve more in this area had tapered. I focused more on me, my fitness, my family and health. I was in excellent shape and felt really good about life!
The next year retirement came, with that, a career change. An exciting, but scary move. Never before had my singular success or failure become dependent on overall financial stability. My passion was to help other people with their fitness! Cool, I got that! That’s the easy part, or so I thought…. Why do I say that? Because of who I am, not them. I worry like a mother over all her children. Did I do enough, did I do too much? What more can I do?
Then there is the administrative structure, you all know how good I am with structure. I had to teach myself systems, and learn what are requirements and what are suggestions. I can honestly say I have never worked so many hours, so hard or been so fulfilled by work in all my years!
However, with this push outside of balance, where did that leave my fitness level, when the priority shifted? I bet you can guess.
I was reading something the other day and it referenced a novel by James Patterson, Suzzane’s Diary for Nicholas. It said “Imagine life is a game in which you are juggling five balls. The balls are called work, family, health, friends and integrity. And you’re keeping all of them in the air. But one day you finally come to understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. The other four balls – family, health, friends, integrity are made of glass. If you drop one of these it will be irrevocably scuffed, nicked, and perhaps even shattered.” WOW!
So really it’s not entirely about balance it’s about priorities. What is your priority? And what is your plan to counterbalance the shift when it happens? Remembering HEALTH is one of those glass balls, it’s high time I counterbalance this priority! Who agrees?
Also who is going to read the James Patterson book now? I want to
Following the Leader or in this case Personal Trainer/Health Coach
I signed up to lead you in your fitness and nutrition journey, showing you the tools and how to use them. If I am being honest here, I have failed to use the proper tools, as of late, which is what a leader should do.
But let’s take a step back here and look at this as a lifestyle, which is what I am trying to help you create. In life there are ups and there are downs, sometimes those downs are very low and those ups are very high.
Throughout our lives we have consciously, or not, created habits or tools to deal with those ups and downs. Some of these may have been detrimental to the lifestyle we are trying to create now, and some may be positive.
I had some ups, vacations with family, and some very low downs – 4 deaths in 1.5 months. Based on my personal history I pulled out the tools I used to get through these times before. Admittedly they weren’t the best tools for the job.
Relating this analogy to a toolbox let me explain.
Do you ever have a screw that needs to be taken out, and you grab a coin, butter knife, pair of scissors or some random quickly accessible item to try and remove it? I mean a butter knife has worked before, yeah not great, but it’s easier then going out to the garage and finding the right screwdriver.
Well in dealing with my pain I used the butter knife, I reverted back to the tools I used many years ago which was soothing with food and sleep. When I finally realized the butter knife wasn’t doing any good and could actually be stripping the head of the screw I went to the garage and found the right screwdriver.
My screwdriver in this case means moving my body and tracking my food to gain control.
So while I feel bad for slipping as the leader, I don’t feel bad for leaning into my humanity and allowing myself much needed time to grieve.
I know I couldn’t stay there for my health, or the health of others, but I needed the time. I have begun my journey back over the last two weeks, and I feel the control and positivity of a healthy lifestyle return.
Something worth mentioning, is when you are neglecting your health the pit seems deeper, your energy is gone, we self loathe for not moving and not making the right choices with our nutrition, and then there is the “I’m letting everyone down” feeling which can create a vicious circle if you don’t realize you have better tools to use. Setting down the butter knife was the first step to climbing out of this pit. I recognized I couldn’t fight the grief and leaned into it, it’s OK we are all human; I talked to people who provided grace and understanding, and I realized I have better tools for the job. I picked up the screwdriver, meaning I started moving, sunshine and walks to clear my head, which easily led to gaining control of the nutrition again.
Not unlike just starting your journey sometimes life will derail you, and you will look for the quick fix in your time of need, but it doesn’t take long for you to seek out the better tool for the job once you know it’s out there.
While I may slip as a leader at times, I will recognize the human condition and promise to guide you toward the right tools for the healthier lifestyle we all are looking for.
Vulnerability what does it look like?
We see vulnerability in others as courage; but expressing our own vulnerabilities to others feels like weakness. [Brene Brown]
Letting you see these photos of me is very vulnerable. I felt weak and ashamed. I never wanted to show these pictures to anyone ever again.
I was scared to show my husband the woman I was before I met him….terrified. Imagine that! Most of you think, well that’s just dumb! And if it wasn’t ME I’d have agreed with you… but to me it was terrifying.
I was vulnerable to his criticism, cruelty or worse yet, losing his love altogether. None of that happened, when he saw the photos he took a look, I held my breath, and he said “My Beautiful Babers”.
As I write this, tears still flow, because I am so incredibly thankful he is who he is, but also because I know how scary it is to show yourself when you are at your most vulnerable. It doesn’t have to be weight, like mine was/is (yes still rears its ugly head), it could be something different for you. Maybe asking for help makes you feel weak, but most of us would see that as courage standing on this side.
Can you see the two sides of this coin?
I see people who struggle now and don’t want to share parts of themselves because… What if? So I share this photo for the world to see because I want you to know the other side of weakness from where we stand is courage. It’s time to show yourself.
Do you stumble through the next workout, picking it out of magazines and hoping to try them one day like those recipes I save?
I have been as guilty as the next guy when it comes to that, I understand. Making a full commitment to something is hard, heck even scary because you will become accountable for something you’re not quite ready for, or how about the financial commitment when you can get those workouts for free.
Let me explain why I think the investment in personal training is something everyone should do. It isn’t so someone can yell in your ear and make you vomit or cry, that’s not what it’s about. It’s an investment in you, your physical and mental health.
Personal training should make you feel good, similar to getting a massage or new haircut. You should walk out of your training session happy with yourself and proud of the work you did. Granted you have to put in more work in a training session than the other two, but the difference is, the accomplishment is all yours.
Your trainer designs a program for you, it’s not just winging a workout in a magazine. It is progressive, and constructed to reduce the chance of injury due to your fitness level and compensations. It is not created for some generic client who has no injuries or unknown movement compensations.
Let’s try comparing it to getting an education.. If you pull a basic math lesson one day from a magazine, then geometry the next day, jumping over to french next week, then spanish, and maybe throw in algebra today…. How good are you going to get at math, or any foreign language? You are not following a path, you are zig zagging and you will struggle.
Trainer designed workouts incorporate things like your occupation, your hobbies, previous injuries, your goals and your lifestyle. It follows a path so you actually see and feel the changes. Make sense?
My goal is to motivate you, and have you walking around with confidence knowing you are strong, less stressed and sleeping better than you have been. And to stop struggling to obtain those goals, have you actually reach them.
If you think you would like to try personal training, drop me a message, I have many alternatives and packages to fit your needs. You my friends are worth the investment.
It’s Almost December!
How did that happen? It’s been a strange world this year, yet time passed by just as quickly.
I have accomplished some pretty big things this year, and conversely somethings aren’t where I wanted them to be either. Not really different from any other year, am I right?
I’ve never been one to wait until the New Year to start something big or small. It’s just a date on a calendar. To me November 30th, is also a date on a calendar you can use for measurement if that’s what is needed. Why wait for the beginning of the year to start working on what you need to do?
I have accomplished so much I started 8 months ago and just 3 months ago! I plan to finish the year out strong, never waiting for the “right” time. It doesn’t exist… but excuses always do.
In fact, about three weeks ago, I decided to work on my mindset. I realized even though I’m a relatively easy going and a logical (which can drive people nuts) person, things have been getting to me a little more. I find myself a bit crankier than usual, so I started a gratitude moment each morning. No social media, no work, nothing until I list at least five things I’m grateful for. I’m grateful, things on this list come easy most days.
While this world may be a messed up place for a while I will do my part to make sure I stay healthy mentally and physically. I continue to workout and eat right. I enjoy the holidays without guilt.
However, there is no reason to just throw in the towel the rest of the year. Here’s where my logic kicks in, why start further away from where I am right now? Why not make improvements even if they are small instead of sliding backwards? Just deciding it’s too hard to eat right, or move in the last quarter of the year is a sure fire way to gain backward momentum. That makes no sense to me. So start now, today! November or December, whatever day it is. Do what you can to improve, don’t give up, crawl forward, but DO NOT stop.
So let me ask you, are you going to do what you can now to make positive changes? Or are you going to wait to slide into the New Year to make your move?